1 - At least he didn’t mimic girls “jugs”.

2 - Tator tots are awesome.

(1) “She and Douche talked once on the phone and decided to set up a date for last night. Yesterday morning at brunch she got a text from him asking if she was a Bear’s fan. ”Sure.” ”Ok I am going to watch the game with some friends at a bar. Why don’t you come with some friends.” Um, a group date? The guy is 33 years old and had been set up with her - not some random meeting at a bar late night while hammered. I think drinks (alone) are appropriate.”

RESPONSE: So the guy couldn’t wait to see you (he moved the date up half a day) and wants you to meet his friends (so he made it a ‘group date’)? Both are testaments to you I think. How do you respond? You lie to him – as the rest of the date unfolds, I think it becomes pretty clear you are not a Bears fan.

(2) ”Who are your friends? Are they single?” I requested the information - I mean it is already awkward enough to come along on someone else’s date but hanging with married couples might just push me over the edge. ”Yes. Bring some cute chicks, besides you of course. Lol.” I mean there were so many things wrong with his text. Starting with the hot chicks comment. Gross. And worst of all “LOL.” Men should not use abbreviations or emoticons. No exception.

RESPONSE: Why focus on the negative, Spinsta? I think there was a lot right with this text. He told you that you are good-looking, he thinks you have good-looking friends, he has a sense of humor, and just in case you don’t have a sense of humor, he will make it easy on you and identify when he is joking.

(3) “You never know.” So, Rose texted “we will be there at 1:30.” ”You should try to get their earlier. The game starts at 12.” Bossy Douche. Fast forward to 1:25. Rose and I were in the cab heading towards the bar for our group date”

RESPONSE: Who shows up to watch a noon Bears game at 1:30? Were you trying to express to him that you were uninterested in him, sports, punctuality, or all three at once? Well-played Spinsta.

(4) “She texted him that we were on our way. ”Perfect. We are sitting in a booth across from the bar and I have on a Yankee’s hat. There are two girls that sat down at our table. I will get rid of them.” WTF?? The Douche invited his own “hot chicks” on our group date? This is just too much.”

RESPONSE: What has he shown “too much” of here – interest in you? He gave you several valuable pieces of information here, all positive, which you somehow missed: (1) Other girls wanted to sit with him; (2) he was nice and let them sit down at what I’m sure was a crowded bar with few seats; (3) and he was going to kick them out so you could sit there instead. What has he shown us here? Answer: He is desired by other females and will always be a gentleman around them, but when it comes to making sure your needs are met, he will turn on those females instantaneously.
Also, maybe those girls at the table were talking to his friends – this is a ”group date” remember? Are you the only one that gets to engage in “dating” on this group date. Does his entire group of friends have to suffer by swearing-off speaking to females for the entire day because he has a girl that may or may not be showing up to watch the Bears game sometime in the middle of the 4th quarter?

(5) “ ”We are getting a drink somewhere else first,” I demanded. So we went to a bar down the street. ”Actually we are going to get a drink first down the street. See you after. Hopefully there will be room in the booth for us,” she texted.”

RESPONSE: Drinks somewhere else? That’s about the meanest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re already an hour and a half late to this date. Are you trying to hurt this person? Wouldn’t kicking him in the balls be quicker.

(6) ”We may be gone by then,” he responded. I mean this guy just kept getting douchier. He may be gone? You asked her on a date. You can wait until she arrives or you can meet us at the other bar.”

RESPONSE: He invited you to watch a Bears game. Somehow, the 3 and a half hours between kickoff and the end of the fourth quarter didn’t leave you enough time to make it over to meet him. How long do you want him to sit there waiting? He even wrote that he only “may” be gone. He “may” wait for you at the bar after you show up 3 hours late – add patient and forgiving to his list of douchebag qualities.

(7) “I don’t think we should go,” I said. ”We are a block away. This way we wont be curious. We will just get one drink.”

RESPONSE: Well it’s nice to see you going into this thing with such a positive attitude. You’re going just so you won’t be “curious” later. I thought you were looking for a committed relationship. At this point, I’m pretty sure you are wasting this guy’s time and owe him an apology.
Also, somehow between the time you got in the cab to when you are one block away from the bar (10 min?) you have completely changed your mind about even showing up. I think your cab may have taken a wrong turn and accidentally driven through crazytown.

(8) “We finished our drink and headed over to the bar with the gang.”

RESPONSE: Nothing says I am interested in a potentially serious relationship with you than showing up drunk.

Ok, I would love to keep going but I must stop now. I think I’ve made my point. I look forward to your responses spinsta.