exitstrategy

Two years ago, I went home for Christmas and went for lunch with my parents.  I knew that I had a brief to work on but I stayed up until 2 AM the night before and figured I would be okay for lunch.   Well, I was wrong.  I got an email right after we ordered that said “you must call me immediately.”  So, my parents cancelled our lunch and we ran out of the restaurant in a poof of smoke, got into the car, cruised down the highway and just as I approached my house to go to the computer and call the partner she emailed “You know I do not have time to waste on you.  I will just do it myself.  Don’t waste my time again.”  Ouch - that was one of the reasons I left my prior firm.  I mean what is ever so urgent in the law that one needs to rush out of lunch? Well I thought those days were behind be but lo and behold, this Sunday I was again called away from my lunch.  ”Spinsta, I want to send this memo to the client in an hour or an hour and a half.  Please call me to let me know you can do the final edits.”  So, I called the partner, told him I was at lunch but that I would go home and finish the memo.  I threw money on the table and ran home.  It was as if I was a doctor being paged.  CODE BLUE: Must finish Memo STAT.   I mean I am not really like a doctor because I was not saving lives.  I was, to the contrary, editing a memo that was to “edify the client” on its potential claims.  Although the partner decided it was a matter of life or death that the client get the memo on a Sunday afternoon, the client would not look at the memo until Tuesday at the earliest after the holiday weekend.  Get a life Partner STAT.  I mean my mom always wanted me to be a doctor, but get real. It was enough to bring the Spinsta back to her half empty ways.  But, then, it happened.  A sign from above.  There is meaning to life again.  I have a purpose.  Are you ready?  They are casting for Real Housewives of Chicago.  It is my calling.    I will bring a whole new vibe to the show.  Sure we have seen married broads with hot bods and rich husbands and spoiled children who fly in private jets, live in giant homes, buy $15,000 handbags.  Been there done that.  Who doesn’t want to see a Fat Spinsta go to her glamorous job (camera zooms on the ball scratching), goes on exciting dates (camera zooms on pudgy accountant and nearly comatose Spinsta), goes on a shopping slurge (camera zooms on Fat Spinsta at Neimans - she does know how to shop) and of course to enjoy fine cuisine (camera zooms on Spinsta and the cab driver sharing some australian licorice).   Finally, Dr. Spinsta can turn off her blackberry and live the life she was meant to live.  And of course the season finale involves the Spinsta meeting a nice doctor (I mean it is scripted reality television so in my fake reality I would like to meet a nice doctor) and becoming Dr. and Mrs. Spinsta (after all my notoriety he will need to keep my name).   

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