exitstrategy

While it is safe to say that the Spinsta is, um, what is the word?  Depressive?  Pessimistic?  An oracle?  Well today I was feeling a little extra of whatever the word is that I am searching for.  One friend suggested I had a case of the Mondays.  After considering if that was the reason for my funk (note: said friend was being ironic or trying to be funny channeling Office Space, I mean the Spinsta would not be friends with someone who honestly used that phrase), I thought about why was it that I was feeling a little extra of whatever that word is. Now I am no therapist but I think it has something to do with the latest string of successes that have befallen my former classmates.  Saturday night I went to a party at a former classmates.  He lives in a major penthouse and he has benjamins strewn across his bed.  Well, maybe not strewn, but there is certainly some treasure chest somewhere in his bachelor pad extraordinaire.  Juxtapose the major pad with my current “abode.”  The Spinsta lives in a closet - literally.  Almost a year ago I decided to move to a smaller, cheaper place to save money.  Although, here we are a year later and I am still living in a closet with no real savings to speak of.   At this party there was a former classmate who did two clerkships, and now is some major associate who also teaches a class.  Oh yeah, speaking of former classmates who are now professors, another classmate I found out is also teaching.  I mean what the f - can my former law school no longer afford to hire grown professors?  Ugh and the second person turned prof is a real piece of work.  She is quite substantial - not fat but stacked, like a tank.  But she wears very girly clothes and she walks with such an exagerated sway you would think you were watching The Nanny or something.  I mean yes clearly I am bitter - but often those who are the most bitter are the most keen observers.  Now talk about contrast: they are high powered business women and I am, well what am I?  Miserable, yes.  High powered, no.  Not unless clerical work is going to take me straight to the top. And then last but not least, they are all married.  Well not bachelor pad, but everyone else in the free world.  Except the Spinsta.  Contrast yet again. I have this overwhelming feeling that I am like this girl who moved back home with her parents and works at the Walmart and has to see the cool kids from high school shop at the Walmart (hmm, maybe I should have picked a different store because it is a little embarrassing for the cool kids to be shopping there.  Well use your imagination - some big box store) and must ring up their goods.  You know like the horrible movie with Sandra that is always on TV - hope floats.  Ugh who am I kidding - I love that movie.  Yet another reason why I will never be a high powered woman (I don’t know why those two are related but I am feeling very hyperbolic so just go with it).   And then to top it all off, not only is my life worse in comparison to my classmates slash Walmart-workery-living-with-parentsish.  No, my life is also stuck on repeat.  You know, like Groundhog’s Day.  But my Groundhogs day does not end up with me falling in love and becoming the heart and soul of Pucksatony.  No, my Groundhogs day starts with the same walk to work, the same forced hello to the same clowns, the same crappy work, the same constant harassment about the same crappy work, the same crappy sandwich meat, followed by the same walk home past the same homeless man who yells the same creepy phrase (”spare some change baby girl”).   So now what?  I do hope this is a case of the Mondays.  Otherwise, I guess I am going to have to make a change.  Note to self: find a different way to walk home. 

Trackback URI | Comments RSS