exitstrategy

There is a direct correlation between economic conditions and crime rates.  Unsurprisingly, in this recession, petty crime abounds.  However, I did not truly appreciate the current state of affairs until I fell prey to a crime spree. I will tell you exactly what happened - with no exaggeration and with no shocking detail withheld.  After being told by a partner that he “was uncomfortable with my research,” I went to meet a friend at Starbucks to bitch about the old hell hole.  I did not want to draw attention to myself when I stepped out (they watch us like a hawk - every time you leave, someone writes it down.  Yet another example of how I have the worst job) so I just grabbed my credit card and my blackberry and put them into my jacket. When I got to Starbucks, I ordered my chai latte and sat down to chat for 20 minutes about how I have the worst job and to talk about the story of Passover (I actually said “let my people go”).  On our way out, I checked my pockets to make sure that I had everything only to discover that MY CREDIT CARD WAS GONE. I went to the cashier and asked him if he gave me back my card.  ”Yes Ma’am.”  I looked under the table - nothing.  I browsed around the area but I got scared off by the paranoid psychzophrenic sitting in the corner screaming “squack” and “you promised me” and “spur some change.”  I ran from the corner in fear and I bumped into a young man with a major coiffe running his fingers through his hair as he waited patiently for a frappacino.   And then I had a vision.  I recalled only minutes earlier when I ordered my chai latte.  There were several suspicious looking men in line with me.  And when I finished my order and put my credit card back in my pocket, I could feel one of the men’s eyes sear through my back.  Then two others jostled me.  Then the three of them left the Starbucks in seconds, running at top speed.   I imagine it was my preoccupation with that shitty comment that prevented me from realizing that I, the worldly and street-smart Spinsta, was caught in the middle of a heist.  Yes, I was PICK-POCKETED at a Starbucks filled with homeless people and sexual deviants with long, luscious hair.  I came face to face with the problem of petty crime in this country and I got burned. Perhaps I have slightly dramatized the pick-pocketting, but it was traumatic.  Luckily I canceled my credit card right away, but before I got to a phone the pick-pocketer had purchased a train pass from the station for $79.00.   Let this be a lesson to you - in these tough times, on these mean streets, you must be vigilent.  Please remember this next time you go to Starbucks - not only will you have to pay $100 for a coffee but you may also be pick-pocketed. 

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