exitstrategy

I, like every other spinsta out there, have been obediently echoing the mantra for all single ladies: it happens when you least expect it.  In fact, I least expect it when I go out for the night, when I go to single’s lectures, when I go to weddings - you get the point. The power of least expecting it is derived from some universal source - if you least expect it the universe will respond and send you what you least expected (i.e. amor).   So, I am wondering why after least expecting it for a long time I am still a spinsta.  I wonder if the universe is capable of hearing my thoughts.  See, I say I am least expecting it (e.g. my mom calls me and asks me what I am doing “Least expecting it.”  ”Ugh, spinsta give it up.  Why don’t you let me set you up with this nice homeless man who has a box that fits two.”).  But, inside I think I am expecting it.  Aha - maybe that is the problem.  Universe - its me, spinsta.  I get it now.  I am least expecting it. And then it hit me.  I have been least expecting it, just watching every dating/love show on television.  I guess for inspiration?  And then I see him.  His name is Sex Toy Dave.  He is a short, unnatractive Jewish guy who runs an online business that sells sex toys.  His house is decorated with dildos and he has a stripper poll in his living room.  After two unsuccessful set ups, Patty learned that Sex Toy Dave (S.T.D. for short - my heart is singing) actually just wants a nice, sweet girl he can take home to his mother.  I think I could be that girl.  I will learn how to use a stripper poll and peddle sex toys online (I already know that former partner who loves erotica - he could be my first sale).   The power of the universe has been revealed.  Now I just have to make it through the ultra difficult casting session at the Millionaire’s Club.  Patty - I promise I will straighten my hair. 

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