Mar 04 2009
Being Single Is The New Jingle
I cannot take credit for the snappy title to this blogisode. I think the phrase was coined by an elderly man to make young women feel better about being single. Everyone is always trying to make you feel better about being single. And by everyone I mean old people, married people, or my mother. You know - it’s a time in your life when you get to be selfish. You can travel wherever. You can have hot steamy s-e-x with anonymous hunks. In truth, all that usually happens during this glorious single phase is you whine to your girlfriends about being single. No anonymous s-e-x (oh wait, was that supposed to be hot steamy?), no travels. And, I am always selfish. I mean who besides a self-obsessed person would have a blog where she forces the world to hear her views on everything. But, I think I have found the silver lining. Well I guess two silver linings, or at least one silver and the other grey (you know like that Girl Scouts song about old friends and new ones). The grey lining: I was almost in the audience at Oprah where I would share my dating horror stories and be discovered by either an agent looking to cast a lead for a Bridget Jones type movie, or by a nice jewish doctor who is looking to cast a woman to play his wife. But, unfortunately, I will be out of town - although perhaps my trip will lead to the hot steamy stuff that single life is supposed to be about. The silver lining: being single means searching the internet for love. I have been known to cross-reference the various search engines. I mean there could be a dreamy jewish man somewhere and you have to look around every corner. Which reminds me, I should sign up for sugardaddy.com (I mean its either a way out of my job or its a nice old man who will introduce me to his hunky grandson). So, the other night I am searching around the web for amor and I chance upon a familiar face. It was an attorney at my first firm. He was always very intense, he ran marathons and ate really healthy. He seemed nice enough but he had a really intense stair. So I see this guy, with the same picture he has on his firm website as on the dating site, and it says his statistics: 6′3, muscular build, brown hair, brown eyes, lawyer, 39, never married . . . and jewish. So I scroll through the rest of his profile - there are some stories about his love of running, family, and college basketball (or something generic, I can’t remember). And then I see it. At the end of the profile - it reads: ”Turn ons: EROTICA” Wow, I worked with a real freak!! I mean I did a discrete research project for him once. I remember thinking he was looking at me a little too intently but now I realize it was because he was imagining me with a ball-gag or a leather outfit. So, you may be wondering why this is a silver lining. In fact, you may be thinking - Spinsta you used to work with a tall, single, Jewish partner and you let him get away? The silver lining is this: if I were dating someone, I wouldn’t be searching online for amor, and then I wouldn’t have chanced upon the Lawyer/Sex Fiend (btw - what is Erotica? I think it is like Porn Plus - like the really nasty stuff. He probably has a subscription to Buxom Babes, or Feet, or some other fetish magazine). If I hadn’t found him, then I would not have a reason to feel superior to someone who runs marathons and is a partner at a law firm. Which brings me back to my central premise: I am always selfish and it is always about me.
