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Feb 04 2009

Baby Ty

Published by Fat Spinsta at 11:32 pm under Uncategorized Edit This

I begin this post with a correction.  I mistakenly attributed the song “I don’t know much” (if that is even the name of the song, maybe it is just the chorus) to Lionel Ritchie.  However, as many Spinsta fans told me, the song was in fact sung by Aaron Neville.  Yet another example of how the Spinsta don’t know much. With that cleared up, let me tell you something I do know.  There is a tiny child out there who needs a loving home.  While I do not really love children, I am prepared to step up and adopt this needy child.  His name is Ty ____ (do we know Jason the bachelor’s last name?).   For those of who do not watch the latest Bachelor, let me catch you up briefly.  So Jason No Last Name has a son Ty.  Ty, you see is “the most important thing in [his] life.”  Every few minutes that pass on the Bachelor, Jason will utter this phrase.  Some of the hoochie mommas vying for his attention just LOVE the fact that Jason is such a devoted father.  They just want to be a wife to Jason and a mother to Ty.  I mean they are all 22, but apparently they are super mature.  So, in a nutshell, that is the bachelor: single dad looking for love and an insta-family. In a world where many parents do not live up to their caregiving responsibilities, it should be refreshing to see a loving single dad raising a child.  But, if you dig a little deeper (i.e. watch both The Bachelorette and The Bachelor) then you realize good old Jason is not such a great dad.  Ty appears to be four or five years old and yet for the past year or so he has been living on his own (or raised by that family that plays leap frog - yeesh).  Jason, the devoted dad, ditched Ty to find love on The Bachlorette and when that failed he again ditched Ty to live in a brothel in LA where he makes out/does it with a gaggle of broads.  And, if all other previous seasons is any indication, Jason will not end up with whatever lady he chooses to be Ty’s mommy.  So, beyond being abandoned by his first Mommy, he will be abandoned by his second.  And, then once Mommy number 2 ditches the family, Jason will move in to the Surreal Life House to look for love with a former teen star or a former reality star. Who raises little Ty while daddy is following his . . . um, heart?  I am ready for the challenge.  Ty, meet your new mommy.  Now we just need to figure out how to get ABC to pay for your care.  I guess we can follow the lead from Trista and Ryan and televise Mommy’s wedding?  Ugh that is unlikely.  Wait, we will televise Ty’s Bar Mitzvah.   

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One Response to “Baby Ty”

  1. fatfanon 10 Feb 2009 at 7:52 pm edit this

    please get off this GHETTO blog and move to a site that will download you full feeds. I suggest blogger

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