exitstrategy

So I promised a friend that today I would be positive for the entire day. I promised not to complain about work, or my family, or my giant ass. So clearly I have nothing to say.

I am trying to think of positive memories from my past. I had a pretty idylic childhood. And by idylic I mean overly sheltered but very safe. I went to college in Wisconsin. There was only one homeless person on campus, but we all knew him and he looked very well fed. The rumor on campus was that he was an eccentric millionaire that liked to look homeless. I mean there was roofies and stuff on campus so it was not all rainbows and butterflies but I am a woman of my word…

One of my fondest memories was when I was younger. I had all my friends over to our house for a sleep over. They were all very fond of my dad. He would make jokes and fake chase us around. He would also lift us up and play airplane. We took turns while my dad propelled us through the air making the sputtering noice of an airplane. Then, it was my friend Robert’s turn to be propelled, but Robert was really fat and so my dad tried to pick him up but fell down.

Wait, that was not me. My name is not Rudi Huxtobel. My dad does not love hoagie sandwiches. That was an episode of the Cosby Show. Have all my authentic childhood memories been replaced by my memories of 80s sit coms? The Spinster has been living a lie! That or she is bat-sh*t crazy. OMG, Fat Spinster is talking about herself in the third person.

Gardenia look what you have done? I can’t be positive. It throws off my center of gravity. Sorry to break a promise but I don’t know what I might do if I continue. I will probably go out looking for an older fat British man to act as my butler and call him Mr. Belvedeer.

I hate my job!!! Ok I am feeling better. Crisis averted. So, loyal fans, excited for Halloween?

Note: this was the Spinsta’s Halloween episode called Sit Com Demon Possession. BOO. Happy Halloween!!!

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