Oct 25 2008
Slutty Nurse?
I LOVE halloween. I get really into it. As you know, I enjoy the traditional halloween fare (i.e. candy corn). I used to love trick-or-treating. And growing up in Minnesota you really needed to be committed to the holiday in order to go out in the bitter cold. My parents would insist that we were accompanied by an adult until we were like 12. I think that was mostly because this old woman who lived alone on the block next to ours. She would make people come in two at a time and sign her guest book and then she gave raisins or cookies, but we all knew the cookies were poisonous.
My parents insisted on chaparones but they never took issue with my costumes. Even as a child I was a fan of the slutty costume. When I was in third grade I was a sexed up Betty Boop. When I was in fourth grade, I dressed up with my best friend. Her mother was almost as little as we were and had a whole closet of leather and fur get-ups. So, naturally, I was a prostitute dressed in a tiny black dress with her fox-fur bomber jacket and Marnie was my pimp in her leather pants. One of the houses on our route was having a high school party and a group of drunk 16 year olds opened the door. I can’t remember, but I think the shock of our combined costume caused one of the guys to drop his bottle of Strawberry Boones.
You might think that the trauma of that night (or my parents - um mom and dad where exactly were you during my Jean Bonett years?) would have killed the desire to dress slutty on halloween, but I like every other liberated woman want to dress whorish on halloween. I have been slutty cop, slutty doctor, slutty librarian, slutty devil and slutty time traveller (during my sci-fi phase). Last year I was a slutty young Hollywood starlet. But this year, I am torn. I have to go to my secretary’s party and I don’t know what to do. Can I dress slutty to a work party?
I have, on occassion, worn pants way to tight to qualify as business casual. I also once wore a white dress, that unbeknownst to me was complete transparent. So, I have dressed slutty to work but the work party seems different somehow. I don’t even know how to dress up for halloween if it doesn’t involve me wearing a skirt the size of my brownie’s uniform.
It is times like these I wished I had more training on appropriate office behavior.
Those slutty outfits were costumes?!?!
Marnie’s mom’s closet must have provided hours and hours of entertainment.
What about Dorothy - that straddles the line between sexy and prim. PLUS, you can borrow your sister’s dog as Toto and carry her around in a basket….so the work people will be too overwhelmed by puppy love to notice how short your skirt is.