Oct 22 2008
Jury Duty
One of my co-workers had jury duty and she was not happy. Apparently no one likes jury duty. At my sister’s rehearsal dinner, I sat across the table from a woman who ranted for 40 minutes on how juries should all be abolished. When I told her that I was a lawyer, she inquired whether there was anything I could do to help make that happen. The fact that that woman thought I could somehow single-handedly do away with the jury system is probably proof positive that most average Americans are perhaps not equipped to be jurors. Nevertheless, I think jury duty is one of the most important things we can do as Americans, and as lawyers.
My happiest day as a lawyer occurred last year when I was working at my prior law firm. That day was when I was called for jury duty. I admit that having a day away from the office was one of the best parts of jury duty. However, it was the most I ever felt like a lawyer. I was called in the first group of people and voire dired. We went down the row and one by one the lawyers asked us what we did for a job, whether we have any problems with chiropractors, and whether we thought people commonly filed frivilous lawsuits. The first 6 people were pretty boring: they were teachers/housewives/plumbers, had no opinion of chiropractors and thought all lawsuits were frivilous. The man next to me broke the mold. “I am a hearse driver, I see a chiropractor, and I don’t think people file frivilous lawsuits.” Yikes.
Well, clearly, me and the freaky hearse driver were excused from serving on the hit and run case. The group of excused jurors made our way out of the courtroom and headed towards the elevator. Everyone wanted to know my opinion about the case since I was a lawyer. They asked me all kinds of questions and looked at me like I actually might know the answers. All of the people I worked for, and most of the people I worked with, looked at me like I could not even read. It was a thrill.
My fame was short-lived and my entourage pushed me aside and jumped on the elevator and I was stuck waiting for the next elevator with the freaky hearse driver. “So,” he asked, “I bet your glad they asked you what you did for a living. Of course they wouldn’t have a lawyer on their jury.” “True. I lucked out.” “Well, obviously no one wants a hearse driver on their jury so that worked out well for me.” “Nice. You lucked out.” “Yeah for sure. I didn’t even need to tell them about my time in prison.”
So my happiest day as a lawyer could have been my last since the freaky hearse driver probably kills the people that ride in the back seat of his car. But I survived and gave my number to freaky killing hearse driver. He may have spent time in prison, but he got his m.b.a while doing so. In other words, he was a catch. What a day.
I take issue with this statement:
“The fact that that woman thought I could somehow single-handedly do away with the jury system is probably proof positive that most average Americans are perhaps not equipped to be jurors.”
I think you may have taken her comment out of context. First, I don’t see how she was implying that you could “single-handedly” change the jury system. Perhaps she felt that, because you are a lawyer, you have access to influential people who could impact judicial policy. Also, she is only one person — a rather small sample size from which to draw the sweeping conclusion that “most average Americans are perhaps not equipped to be jurors.”
Dear Boz,
Thank you for your comment. In response, let me just say that I believe overgeneralizations are appropriate. I am also an elitist. Consequently, your comments are both wrong and stupid. But I am glad you are a fan of Fat Spinsta. Keep up the support!!!! G-d bless you!!!
So you think Joe the plumber is boring. My friends, I think you’re nothing more than a socialist who wants to spread the wealth around
That’s Mr. Skaggs to you, spinsta.
a date with the hearse driver would have been magicial - he would have probably picked you up in his ride. the most popular kid at my high school drove a hearse.