Oct 21 2008
Candy Corn, Wedding Bells, and Rap Battles
A year and a half ago, I reached a new level in my instant messaging skills. I attempted to participate in a three-way rap battle with Tortfeazor and DJ Mad Billablez, clearly two other lawyers. I lost the battle mostly because I could not come up with a cool rap name. Well, in truth, I lost the battle because I cannot rap, but having that cool rap name would have at least made me a contender.
Today, after a year and half of searching for my true rap name, I found it. I don’t know if it was the DailyCandy I received this morning with subject line “all wed up: fall 2008 wedding guide.” I don’t know if it was the myriad photo albums on Facebook from my ten year reunion showing all my former female classmates with an additional surname. I don’t know if it was the reflection in my computer screen this morning showing my face covered in orange sugar flakes following my candy corn binge, or the pressure around my mid-section from my expanding waist fighting my narrowing waistband. Whatever the inspiration, I had found my rap name: Fat Spinsta.
My name is Fat Spinsta;
It’s nice to meetch’ya;
I think I might eatch’ya;
Because I’m fat.
Thats not with a ph, but with an f;
Get me some noodles from Boyardi, the chef.
Clearly, this rap battle goes to Ms. S.
Gardenia - this rap’s for you.
And, to my three mysterious commenters: thanks for your support. I wonder who you are…
on behalf of all us unwed moms in the pro-american parts of the country- we love your style, spinsta. keep up the candy corning.
Wait, “Tortfeazor” is a cool rap name?!?
Ya u mad chubbs hon - when u gonna let a brother tap that thickness? much luv Fatz